The Trilogy of Insanity
by Breathe Artistic
Summary: Crazy Dayz is still the same, but now there's 2 more dayz of pure insanity!
1. At Home

Crazy Dayz  
  
Disclaimer: I don't know any of these people. I'm only doing this for fun. Rated PG for mild language.  
  
  
  
  
[One day, Matt comes to visit Jeff and the two are looking for something to eat in Jeff's refrigerator. They open the freezer and come across 3 packages of frozen bagels.]  
  
Matt: " Damn Jeff, how long have those been in there?"  
  
Jeff: " I don't know."  
  
Matt: " Ya think they're edible?"  
  
Jeff: " Maybe."  
  
[Jeff attempts to pull out a package of the bagels and utterly fails. Matt helps Jeff by holding him around the waist and pulling him as Jeff pulls on the bagels.]  
  
Jeff: " On 3. 1...2...3! PULL!"  
  
[Matt pulls backward on Jeff and Jeff pulls on the bagels in the freezer. The bagels detach from the icy freezer and in the process of pulling Jeff's hands snap back with the bagels in his grasp, causing Jeff to hit himself in the head and the back of his head to hit Matt in the head.]  
  
Jeff & Matt: " Ow!"  
  
[There is a knock on the front door and Jeff sets the bagels on the counter and goes to open the door.]  
  
Jeff: " Hey Shannon, hey Shane."  
  
Shane: " Hey Jeff, what's up?"  
  
Jeff: " Me and Matt are trying to find something to eat, wanna help?"  
  
Shannon: " Yeah!"  
  
[Jeff brings Shannon and Shane into the deathtrap called Jeff's kitchen where Matt is still feeling the effect of colliding with Jeff's hard head.]  
  
Jeff: " Hey bro, you alright?"  
  
Matt: " Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
Shane: " What the hell is that?"  
  
Jeff: " Bagels."  
  
Shannon: " Them don't look like bagels."  
  
Jeff: " They are."  
  
Shannon: " Where they been?"  
  
Matt: " In the freezer."  
  
Shane: " How long?"  
  
Jeff: " I dunno, I can't tell, but they were stuck to the freezer."  
  
Shannon: " They can't be edible."   
  
Jeff: " Wanna see if they are shorty?"  
  
Shannon: " HELL NO!"  
  
Shane: " They look like hockey pucks."  
  
[The quartet is quiet for a moment and then Shannon's eyes brighten like headlights, he has an idea, chaos can't be far behind.]  
  
Shannon: [very excited] " Jeff, you have a pool right?"  
  
Jeff: " Yeah, but it's frozen, it is winter you idiot."  
  
Shannon: [still excited] " That's perfect, we can play hockey!"  
  
Matt: " Hockey?"  
  
Shannon: [jumping up and down] " YES I have a hockey stick and Shane has some golf clubs, we can play 2-on-2!"  
  
Shane: " Shannon is you..."  
  
Jeff: [interrupts Shane] " Shannon you little shit, you're a genius!"  
  
Matt: " Jeff, how long ago did you dye your hair?"  
  
Jeff: " 2 weeks why?"  
  
Matt: " I just wanted to know if the Manic Panic had a chance to seep into your brain, ARE YOU INSANE!"  
  
Jeff: [smiling weirdly] " Very possibly so."  
  
Matt: " You are."  
  
Jeff: " Shan's got a good idea, I can't play hockey for shit, but who gives a damn, it'll be fun!"  
  
Shannon: " Thank you Jeff, someone agrees with me!"  
  
Shane: " Jeff's right, it'll be fun, I'm in!"  
  
Matt: [shaking his head] " Oh God help me, I'm in."  
  
Jeff, Shannon, & Shane: " YES!"  
  
[Shannon goes home to get his hockey stick and Shane leaves to get the golf clubs. Matt stays and helps Jeff get the other 2 packages of bagels out of the freezer. Shannon and Shane arrive again and they 4 go outside to Jeff's pool and set down the bagel or 'puck'.]  
  
Jeff: " OK, does anyone actually know how to play hockey?"  
  
Shane: " I do!"  
  
Jeff: " Elaborate please."  
  
Shane: " What?"  
  
Matt: " Tell us how to play dumbass!"  
  
Shane: " Oh right."  
  
[Shane explains the rules of a hockey game to Shannon, Jeff, and Matt. Then comes the time to pick a goalie.]  
  
Shane: " I'll be goalie."  
  
Shannon: " Okay."  
  
Jeff: " I vote you Matt."  
  
Matt: " Why me?"  
  
Jeff: " Um.... cause, you'd be better than me at it."  
  
Matt: " NO!"  
  
Shannon: " The only way to solve any sibling squabble, flip a coin!"  
  
Jeff: " I call 'Heads'!"  
  
[Shannon pulls a quarter out if his pocket and flips it in the air, he catches it and flips it onto the top of his hand.]  
  
Shannon: " Heads."  
  
Matt: " Damn."  
  
[Matt and Shane take their places in what was designated as the goal on either side of the pool and Shannon and Jeff face off in the middle of the pool. Shannon with a hockey stick and Jeff with a golf club and the rock solid bagel in front of them. They begin the game. They look extremely stupid, sliding around on the icy pool, falling on their asses every 5 seconds. Shannon slips and slides across the pool feet first into Shane. They both fall and burst out laughing. Matt and Jeff decide to join the two and take a running start and slide across the pool as well. Meanwhile the bagel goes flying and flies across the fence next door to Jeff. The 4 hear a breaking of glass and stop laughing. They hear yelling and flee into Jeff's house.]  
  
Shane: [panting] " Holy shit, what happened?"  
  
Jeff: [breathing heavily] " I think the bagel broke a window next door."  
  
Matt: " I knew that was a bad idea."  
  
Jeff, Shannon, & Shane: " SHUT UP!"  
  
[The next day, Matt, Shane, and Shannon are back at Jeff's house, up to no good. Somehow, while Jeff was in the bathroom, Matt and Shane managed to sneak into Jeff's room and steal every bottle of cologne that Jeff had even the bottle marked 'Touch and Die.' Their experiment for the day, find out how Jeff makes his cologne.]  
  
Matt: [whispering] " OK Shane that's all of it."  
  
Shane: [whispering] " Alright, let's get outta here."  
  
[Matt and Shane sneak out of Jeff's bedroom and back to the kitchen where Shannon was waiting.]  
  
Shannon: [quietly] " Did you get it all?"  
  
Shane: " Yup, all of it."  
  
Matt: " Let's do this before Jeff finds out."  
  
[The trio open the bottle of the complete concoction and each take a whiff.]  
  
Shane: " Man that shits strong."  
  
Shannon: " You ain't kiddin."  
  
Matt: " Why do ya'll think the damn bottle is still half full?"  
  
Shane: " Jeff's not as dumb as he looks?"  
  
Matt: " Precisely."  
  
[Shannon, Matt, and Shane open all the other bottles and get a container to hold their experiment in. They add all of the cologne and smell it to compare. They find that it's missing something.]  
  
Shane: " There it is Shan, add the CKBe."  
  
Shannon: " Okay."  
  
[Shannon sprays the CKBe into the container. The concoction begins to bubble and fizz.]  
  
Matt: " LOOK OUT, IT'S GONNA BLOW!"  
  
[Matt, Shane, and Shannon duck for cover as the container explodes, spraying the repulsive liquid everywhere.]  
  
Jeff: " WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THREE DO?!"  
  
Shannon: " Whoops."  
  
Jeff: " What were ya'll doing?"  
  
Shane: " Trying to uncover a mystery."  
  
Jeff: " What mystery and why does it reek in here?"  
  
Shannon: [cautiously] " The mystery of your cologne and our experiment exploded."  
  
Matt: " Sorry Jeff."  
  
Jeff: " Oh my God."  
  
Shannon: " Sorry man, we were just curious."  
  
Jeff: " Oh my God."  
  
Shane: " We didn't mean no harm."  
  
Jeff: " I'M GONNA KILL ALL OF YOU!'  
  
[The three run away from Jeff and to the backyard it still being cold Jeff runs back inside seeing that he's shirtless and bare foot. The others come inside cautiously afraid of Jeff's wrath. But when Jeff starts to laugh they all look confused.]  
  
Jeff: " I'm not really mad at ya'll, you're just gonna clean it up."  
  
It just goes to show ya, never put the Hardy Boyz and 3 Count together with frozen bagels and a mystery like Jeff's cologne.  
  
THE END  



	2. On Vacation

THE VACATION  
  
Once again, the Hardyz and 3 Count, including Evan this time are on an adventure, only this time, they have invaded Orlando, Florida and Disney World.  
  
[The Hardyz and 3 Count (+ Shane he's alone in WCW) are sitting around in Jeff's house thinking of what to do with their newfound vacation days.]  
  
Matt: " Five days of vacation, what do we do?"  
  
Shannon: " Dunno, maybe we should go out of town."  
  
Evan: " Shannon, when did you develop a brain? That's a great idea!"  
  
Jeff: " Yeah, but where?"  
  
Shane: " Shannon didn't think of that."  
  
Shannon: [groans]  
  
[As the 5 keep continue thinking about where to go. The gears in Jeff's head finally start turning.]  
  
Jeff: " I GOT IT!"  
  
Matt: " Keep it, it's probably stupid anyway."  
  
Jeff: " Nah! Hear me out this time!"  
  
Shannon: " LET'S GO TO DISNEY WORLD!"  
  
Jeff: " That's what I was gonna say you little shrimp!"  
  
Shannon: " Just because you're taller than me doesn't make me a shrimp!"  
  
Evan: " Uh... yeah it does."  
  
Shane: " Shannon, you're 5'8", you're the shortest one in this group!"  
  
Shannon: " Damn you Shane."  
  
Matt: " ANYWAY, let's get back to the trip and not how short Shannon is!"  
  
Jeff: " Right, so when do we leave?"  
  
Evan: " TODAY!"  
  
Shane: " Um guys, there is a little thing called plane reservations."  
  
Jeff: " What do we need a plane for, we can drive there!"  
  
Shane: " What about a hotel?"  
  
Shannon: " I don't think we'll be there that long do you?"  
  
Matt: " You saying that only means trouble."  
  
Shannon: " Whatdaya mean, I haven't gotten us in trouble yet."  
  
[Flashback 2 Part 1: At Home]  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
  
Shannon: [jumping up and down] " YES I have a hockey stick and Shane has some golf clubs, we can play 2-on-2!"  
  
Shane: " Shannon is you..."  
  
Jeff: [interrupts Shane] " Shannon you little shit, you're a genius!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
[Present time]  
  
Shane: " If I can remind you, playing hockey with frozen bagels was your idea Shannon!"  
  
Shannon: " Oh yeah."  
  
[Flashback]  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
[Matt and Shane take their places in what was designated as the goal on either side of the pool and Shannon and Jeff face off in the middle of the pool. Shannon with a hockey stick and Jeff with a golf club and the rock solid bagel in front of them. They begin the game. They look extremely stupid, sliding around on the icy pool, falling on their asses every 5 seconds. Shannon slips and slides across the pool feet first into Shane. They both fall and burst out laughing. Matt and Jeff decide to join the two and take a running start and slide across the pool as well. Meanwhile the bagel goes flying and flies across the fence next door to Jeff. The 4 hear a breaking of glass and stop laughing. They hear yelling and flee into Jeff's house.]  
  
Shane: [panting] " Holy shit, what happened?"  
  
Jeff: [breathing heavily] " I think the bagel broke a window next door."  
  
Matt: " I knew that was a bad idea."  
  
Jeff, Shannon, & Shane: " SHUT UP!"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
[Present Time]  
  
Jeff: " And my cologne!"  
  
Shannon: " OKAY OKAY!"  
  
Evan: " I'm glad I wasn't there that time."  
  
Shane: " Yeah, cleaning up that cologne was hell."  
  
Matt: " And that was back in January."  
  
Shannon:" Ah, the fun times."  
  
Jeff: [shrugs] " Whatever."  
  
Evan: " Right, so let's plan this trip!"  
  
Matt: " Good idea Evan."  
  
[The 5 guys sit talking about when to leave North Carolina and how to get down to Florida. They come to the conclusion that if they want to get a hotel to stay in they'd have to call the resort. They decide to stay at the Grand Polynesian in the park. Shane is designated to call the hotel.]  
  
Shane: " Why do I have to do it?"  
  
Evan: " Cause if we give the phone to either Jeff or Shannon, we'll never get a reservation."  
  
Shane: " Oh, makes sense."  
  
Shannon: " HEY wait, you can't check in as Shane Helms, people will know who you are."  
  
Evan: " Shannon's actually right."  
  
Jeff: [mischievously] " Why don't you use Gregory."  
  
Shane: " Shut yer trap Hardy."  
  
Matt: " He's got a point."  
  
Shane: " Alright, alright, I'll use friggin Gregory, happy?!?!"  
  
Shannon: [smiling] " Yes."  
  
[Shane groaned and picked up the phone Jeff's cordless phone, dialing 411 information.]  
  
Operator: " State."  
  
Shane: " Florida."  
  
Operator: " City."  
  
Shane: " Orlando."  
  
Operator: " Listing."  
  
Shane: " The Grand Polynesian hotel in Walt Disney World."  
  
Operator: " Hold please."  
  
[After about a half-hour of droning and boring MUZAK. The receptionist at the hotel picks up. Shane speaks with the receptionist and makes reservations for 2 rooms, the last 2 to be exact. After hanging up the phone, Shane relays the information to the others.]  
  
Jeff: " Man, the LAST 2 rooms?"  
  
Shane: " Yup, we got lucky."  
  
Shannon: " Damn right!"  
  
[In Florida SKIP THE DRIVING!]  
  
Evan: " My head hurts."  
  
Shane: " Mine too."  
  
Matt: " If Jeff and Shannon hadn't stopped singing I'd have thrown them both out of the car. And that theme song! It's so DAMN repetitive! And they kept singing it!"  
  
Shannon & Jeff: [somewhat in harmony]: " 'Get up on your feet, put your hands together, sing along with 3 Count, we'll party on forever!' "   
  
Matt, Shane, & Evan: " KNOCK IT OFF!"  
  
Jeff & Shannon: [w/ hurt looks]: " Sorry."  
  
Shane: " Let's just check in and got to sleep!"  
  
Evan: " Good idea man."  
  
[The 5 guys grab their luggage from the back of the car and walked up the to hotel. Shane checks them in and they go up to their rooms. Shane gives Matt and Jeff a key to a separate room and he takes the other and goes w/ Shannon and Evan. They all agree to meet in the lobby at 8:00 the next morning to explore the park. They decide to go to the Magic Kingdom and explore first.]  
  
** The next morning**  
  
Jeff: [on the phone] " Hello?"  
  
Evan: [groggily] " Jeff?"  
  
Jeff: [laughing] " Hold up the phone let the other two hear this!"  
  
Evan: [mumbles]  
  
Jeff: " GET YOUR SWIMSUITS BOYS, WE GOING ON A WATER RIDE! YEEHAW!"   
  
Matt: [in the background] " Oh my God, he's an idiot."  
  
[Evan hangs up on Jeff.]  
  
** 1 Hour Later or at least it seemed like one**  
  
[Jeff is sitting in the lobby on a chair waiting for his brother and 3 Count. It was actually 10:00, 4 hours after he called. The first person he sees is Shane.]  
  
Jeff: " Where were you, I called 4 hours ago?"  
  
Shane: " Um...didn't we agree on 8:00?"  
  
Jeff: " Yeah, and its 10:00."  
  
Shane: " Then what are you doing calling us at 6am?"  
  
Jeff: " I thought you needed an early start."  
  
[The next person to arrive is Matt.]  
  
Matt: " How long have you been down here Jeff?"   
  
Jeff: " Since 7:00."  
  
[The next person to arrive is Evan.]  
  
Evan: " Am I late?"  
  
Jeff: " Yeah, about 3 hours."  
  
Evan: " Damn."  
  
[And the last person to arrive is Shannon.]  
  
Shannon: " Aw, I'm the last one."  
  
Jeff: " Yup, now let's go!"  
  
[The Hardy Boyz and 3 Count leave the hotel and head for the Magic Kingdom.]  
  
Shane: " What do we ride first?"  
  
Jeff & Shannon: " SPLASH MOUNTAIN!"  
  
Matt: " I'll go with that."  
  
Evan: " Sounds good."  
  
Shane: " Splash Mountain it is."  
  
[The 5 make their way to Splash Mountain. They stand in line and wait their turns. After a while they get on the ride and go through the entire thing, twice. All 5 are completely drenched when they get off the ride. They all decide to split up. Shannon and Jeff go to Tomorrow Land to ride Space Mountain, Shane and Matt go to Fantasyland because Shane talked Matt into going on the spinning teacups with him. And Evan walks to Disney-MGM and goes to ride The Tower Of Terror.]  
  
Jeff: " Okay ya'll we'll meet at Main Street, U.S.A. in 4 hours."  
  
[First we follow Evan Karagias to Disney-MGM to ride The Tower Of Terror. Evan stands in line and waits until he can get on.]  
  
Evan: " Eh, this thing don't seem so scary."  
  
Random Person#1: " This looks so scary."  
  
Evan: [thinks] 'Must be a teenager.'  
  
Random Person#2: " Don't worry, it's nothing."  
  
Evan: [thinks] 'Common sense will tell ya that, it's just a ride.'  
  
[Evan finally gets on the ride and Random persons #1 & 2 are on the ride as well. Everyone is strapped in and the ride begins. It comes up and the shoots down.]  
  
Evan: " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
[We next see Evan, he's a little wobbly and shaking.]  
  
Evan: [thinks] 'I'm never getting on the thing again, it's scary as hell.'  
  
Random Person#1: " Wow that guy looks like he got scared out of his wits, that was nothing."  
  
[We travel to Fantasyland with Matt and Shane.]  
  
Matt: " Shane, I am NOT getting on this little baby ride with you!"  
  
Shane: " It's not a baby ride!"  
  
Matt: " How do you know, have you been here before?"  
  
Shane: " Yeah, I rode this like 20 times."  
  
Matt: " Whatever."  
  
[Matt and Shane get in line for the oh-so-manly ride, the spinning teacups and are surrounded by little children.]  
  
Matt: " We look like freaks."  
  
Shane: [smiling] " No we don't. See, there's 2 more adults in line with us."  
  
Matt: " Yeah, two women, with children."  
  
Little Kid#1: " Mommy, Mommy, I want to ride in the pink one!"  
  
Shane: [turns around] " NO I want the pink one! I'm in front of you so HAHA!"  
  
Matt: " Stop it, you're arguing with a kid."  
  
Little Kid#1: " Mommy, that man was mean to me!"  
  
Shane: [turns around again] " Hi, I'm Shane Helms!"  
  
[The woman promptly slaps Shane across the face as Matt looks away in disgust.]  
  
Woman w/ Kid: " How dare you be so cruel to a child."  
  
[In Tomorrow Land.]  
  
Jeff: " This is gonna be so much fun!"  
  
Shannon: " Yo Jeff, do you ever wonder how they make these ride run?"  
  
Jeff: " No, not really, but I bet you're gonna find out aren't you Shannon?"  
  
Shannon: " It wouldn't be an adventure if I didn't."  
  
Jeff: " Oh God, just don't get us thrown out."  
  
[Shannon and Jeff SOMEHOW sneak out of line and find their way to the Space Mountain control room.]  
  
Shannon: [whispering] " That's it!"  
  
Jeff: [whispering] " Okay, let's go."  
  
[The troublesome duo make their way into the control room and admire all the buttons, flashy gadgets, and shiny things.]  
  
Shannon: [amazed] " Wow!"  
  
Jeff: " Shannon, don't touch anything will ya."  
  
[Too late. Shannon walked up the a panel and started pushing random buttons almost instinctively.]  
  
Shannon: " Hey look, the button that starts everything."  
  
Jeff: " Shannon, don't touch it. Let's just go."  
  
[Shannon doesn't listen and pushes it anyway. Luckily everyone is in their seats and strapped in.]  
  
Jeff: " SHANNON!"  
  
Shannon: " OOOOOO, the switch that makes it go faster!"  
  
Jeff: " Shannon. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
[Shannon slowly pushes the switch, until it reaches the max and the switch snaps off.]  
  
Shannon: " Uh-oh, I think I broke it."  
  
Jeff: " BROKE WHAT?"  
  
Security guard: " Hey, what are you two doing in here!?!"  
  
Shannon: " You might wanna stop the thing, it's going too fast! And I broke the lever."  
  
Jeff: " SHANNON YOU IDIOT!"  
  
Shannon: " Whoops... RUN!"  
  
[Jeff and Shannon run for the door BUT are being chased by the security guard. The duo run from Tomorrow Land to Main Street, U.S.A. Where Shane, Matt, and Evan are waiting for them.]  
  
Matt: " I bet those two idiots got in trouble."  
  
Shane: " Yup."  
  
Evan: " Look, here they come."  
  
Jeff & Shannon: " HELP US!"  
  
Security guard: " Get back here you hoodlums!"  
  
Jeff: " Hoodlums? We're wrestlers!"  
  
Shannon: " Shut up and run!"  
  
[Shane, Matt and Evan go into a dead sprint for the front gate with Jeff and Shannon directly in tow, still screaming. They make it to the gate and the guard stops.]  
  
Security guard: " You are all FOREVER BANNED FROM DISNEY WORLD!"  
  
Evan: " But what about our stuff?"  
  
[The guard turns his back and goes back to his post. Little to the 5 wrestlers knowledge 5 of the Disney characters witnessed the entire thing.]  
  
Shannon: " Let's go back and get our stuff!"  
  
Jeff: " Exactly!"  
  
Matt: " Fine, but we can't get caught."  
  
[Our five main characters stroll back through the gate just to be encountered by Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, some guy dressed up as Aladdin, and Timon.]  
  
Jeff: " Holy shit, what'd we do?"  
  
[Aladdin comes up to Jeff and shoves him, Jeff looks offended.]  
  
Aladdin: " You're not allowed here."  
  
Shannon: " LIKE HELL WE AREN'T!"  
  
Matt: " We just want to get our stuff and leave."  
  
Aladdin: " Not without a fight."  
  
Shane: " You're kidding, we're wrestlers, we'll kill you guys."  
  
Evan: " Yeah, I don't feel like beating up my daughters' favorite cartoon character."  
  
[Aladdin looks offended for the rest of the toons and goes to punch Shane in the face. He connects and Jeff and the others are now very angry. Jeff lets out a war-like cry and spears Donald Duck straight in the middle of the costume. Shannon laughs and gets kicked in the stomach by Goofy.]  
  
Shannon: " NOW YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT!"  
  
[Shannon dropkicks Goofy to the ground and an entire 5-on-5 'match' breaks out. Using all their wrestling skills the guys keep wailing on the Disney characters. But then they get the upper hand.]  
  
Aladdin: " Alright guys, full force!"  
  
[The Disney rush the 5 wrestlers, but they have quite a surprise. Matt kicks Mickey in the stomach and hits him with the Twist Of Fate! Shannon gets a few good hits on Goofy and hits him with the Bottom's Up. Shane hits the Sugar Smack on Aladdin but Aladdin doesn't fall so in turn Shane puts Aladdin in the VerteBreaker. Jeff and Evan double team Donald Duck and hit him with the patented Hardy Boyz leg drop only w/ Evan in Matt's place. Timon is the only Disney character standing and the 5 guys gang up on him, beating him mercilessly. They quickly run to the hotel and get their things and check out.]  
  
Shane: [@ hotel reception desk] " Hi, we're checking out but we're not coming back!"  
  
[Shane leaves the keys and runs out of the door with the rest of the guys. They speed off from Disney World.]  
  
**In the Car**  
  
Matt: [driving] " Great, Disney World hates us."  
  
Jeff: " Eh, so what, we beat up 5 characters."  
  
Shannon: " We beat up the most POPULAR character in Disney history."  
  
Matt: " Yeah there's that."  
  
Evan: " That's gonna be on the news tonight."  
  
Shane: " Let's check into a different hotel and go to a different theme park."  
  
Jeff: " Good idea Shane."  
  
[They find another hotel, check in and head for Sea World. But OF COURSE it's late at night and the doors are closed and locked.]  
  
Matt: " Great it's locked, let's go home."  
  
Shannon: " Matt don't start acting like Shaggy, come on!"  
  
[All of a sudden, they hear mysterious laughter coming from inside the park.]  
  
Jeff: " Man, this reminds me of the Scooby-Doo episode where they went to this Sea World like park, and they had to chase a cave man."  
  
Evan: " Great, all we need is the mystery machine and a dog."  
  
Jeff: " Sorry, but I couldn't bring Liger. But we're riding around in Shane's GREEN car."  
  
Shane: " Yeah, but it's not painted with flowers Jeff!"  
  
Shannon: " Whatever, let's go!"  
  
[Shannon climbs over the fence and drops inside the park. Jeff goes next, followed by Shane, Matt and Evan.]  
  
Matt: " Perfect, put breaking and entering on our list of felonies."  
  
Shannon: " Would you chill Matt, we're just trying to find out where that laugh came from."  
  
[We finally see where the mysterious laughter came from. Two guys who look OVERLY familiar.]  
  
Guy#1: " Edge, I don't wanna wear this!"  
  
Guy#2: " Bro, you got to wear it, it's part of the act."  
  
[Edge and Christian have been in the park all day, and they haven't been able to find their way out.]  
  
Jeff: [quietly to Matt] " Is that who I think it is?"  
  
Matt: [quietly back to Jeff] " Maybe."  
  
Shannon: [quietly FOR ONCE!] " Who is it?"  
  
Jeff: [you get that they're whispering right?] " Edge and Christian."  
  
Shane: " Who?"  
  
Matt: " Our worst enemies."  
  
Evan: " Oh."  
  
[Edge and Christian are standing on the rim of Shamu's tank but they don't know it.]  
  
A/N: Things are about to get a little Pokemon-ish so just bear with me please!  
  
[Christian steps forward and plunges into the very deep, very icy cold salt below.]  
  
Edge: " Christian get outta there, you're gonna get your hair wet you reekasaurs!"  
  
[Shannon pops out from behind one of the bleachers.]  
  
Shannon: " HEY why are you too here!"  
  
[Edge gets scared, turns around and slips backward and into the water. Shane, Evan, Jeff, and Matt stand as well.]  
  
Christian: [magically dry] " Great, it's the Hardy twerps."  
  
Edge: " Yeah, get ready to fight you reekazoids!"  
  
[Edge pulls out a stuffed Meowth, and imitates the voice...poorly.]  
  
'Meowth': " That's right you scrubs!"  
  
[Jeff and Matt exchange confused glances, shrug their shoulders and get onto their wrestling stances. But never get to but them to use because Shamu's tail suddenly rises from the water and hits Edge and Christian out of the park.]  
  
A/N: E & C are wearing Jessie and James look alike wigs, just for effect!  
  
E&C: Edge and Christian are blasting off again.... 5 second pose!"  
  
[Edge and Christian pause in mid air, pose and keep going, ending with the patented Team Rocket 'Bing'.]  
Shane: " Let's get our stuff and go home."  
  
[The other's nod in agreement, too tired to say anything.]  
  
** Back in N.C.**  
  
Lita: " Where have you guys been?"  
  
Shane: " We went to Disney World."  
  
Lita: " What happened?"  
  
Matt: " You don't..."  
  
Shannon: [quickly w/o breath] " We went to Disney World and Jeff and I went on Space Mountain, we snuck into the control room, where I played with the buttons, started the thing and made it go faster, a guard caught us and chased all of us out the park and banned us for life. Then we went back in to get our stuff and got into a fight with Mickey Mouse and a bunch of his cartoon thugs. And we beat 'em up real bad and got our stuff and left. Then we went to Sea World and met up with Edge and Christian and Shamu launched them out the park and then we came home."  
  
Lita: " Well looks like you boys had quite an adventure."  
  
Jeff: " Hell yeah."  
  
Lita: " You guys might wanna get some sleep though, Vince wants you in tomorrow."  
  
Jeff, Matt, Shannon, Shane, & Evan: " Aw man!"  
  
**later on**  
  
Newsman: " This just in from Orlando, Florida, 5 Disney Characters were assaulted by 5 men from this state."   
  
Jeff, Matt, Shane, Evan & Shannon: " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
  
THE END  
  
Authors' Comments: Hey guys, I don't have anything against Disney, I just thought the wrestlers should win. And for disclaimer purposes, I don't own anything Disney or anything like that. Or Pokemon, I just thought it'd be funny.  
  



	3. The Venue

THE VENUE  
  
  
This is the third and final chapter in the Trilogy of Insanity. For this chapter we are all going to pretend that the WCW and WWF have merged for it to make a little bit of sense okay. And to make it easier, this is the OLD 3 Count with Shannon, Shane, and Evan, it'll be easier that way. Also Lita will be featured in this chapter A LOT more.  
  
Now onto the story!  
  
  
  
[After their recent adventure in Disney World, the Hardy Boyz and 3 Count along with Lita make their way to a tiring week at work.]  
  
  
Shane: " Some vacation."  
  
Evan: " Yeah, only 2 days. But the fun part was we beat up some cartoon characters."  
  
Lita: " So you were the guys on the news last night?"  
  
Jeff: " Yup!"  
  
Shannon: " Aren't you proud?"  
  
[Lita smacks Shannon in the head.]  
  
Lita: " No I'm not proud, you guys beat some dudes dressed up as cartoon characters!"  
  
Matt: " Hey, Aladdin started it!"  
  
[Lita looks at Matt like he's crazy.]  
  
Lita: " What?"  
  
Shannon:" He did, he punched Shane!"  
  
Lita: " So that's where you got that black eye."   
  
Shane: " Shut up."  
  
Jeff: " Yeah, they almost had us, but we broke out our moves on 'em!"  
  
Lita: " That's pathetic."  
  
Shannon: " Maybe, but we still won!"  
  
Lita: [rolls eyes] " Whatever."  
  
[The group enters the arena and prepares for work for the night.]  
  
Matt: " I wonder if we have a match tonight."  
  
Jeff: [scoffs] " I probably won't, Mr. European Champion."  
  
Matt: " Shut up Jeff."  
  
Shane: " Now, this is not the time for little sibling squabbles."  
  
Jeff & Matt: " SHUT UP SHANE!"  
  
Lita: " Shane's right for once, can't you two ever stop arguing?"  
  
Matt & Jeff: " Maybe."  
  
Evan: " Anyway..."  
  
Shannon: " Hey guys, have ya'll ever gone down there where all those pyros go off?"  
  
Lita: " I haven't."  
  
Jeff: " Nope."  
  
Matt: " No."  
  
Shane: " Haven't been here long enough to."  
  
Evan: " Same as Shane."  
  
Shannon: " Don't those things ever make you curious?"  
  
Group: " NO!"  
  
Shannon: " Aw, why not?"  
  
Lita: " Cuz, none of us are pyromaniacs like you."  
  
Shannon: " I'm not a pyromaniac."  
  
Jeff: " Sure, whatever."  
  
[Later on that night.]  
  
Lita: " I can't believe I'm letting you do this Shannon."  
  
Shannon:" Come on Lita, it'll be fine, we won't get in any trouble."  
  
Lita: [scoffs] " Yeah, sure we won't."  
  
Shannon: " Come on Lita."  
  
[Shannon leads Lita down into the pit where they set off the pyros for RAW. All of a sudden Triple H's music hits. Failing to remember that Triple H doesn't have pyros in his entrance Shannon dares Lita to push a button and see what happens.]  
  
Lita:" I'm not pushing that button Shannon."  
  
Shannon: " Chicken shit!"  
  
Lita: " WHAT DID YOU SAY?"  
Shannon: [slowly] " Chicken shit!"  
  
Lita: " Okay, I'll show you chicken shit."  
  
[Angrily Lita walks over to the panel and roughly pushes a button for one set of pyros. Upon pushing the button Kurt Angle's pyros flare up. Triple H and Stephanie look around in confusion. As she was turning Stephanie accidentally catches a spark in her hair, and since there is so much hair spray holding her hair up and it being HIGHLY flammable her hair ignites into a giant fireball.]  
  
Stephanie: [running wildly] " PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!"  
  
Lita: " Holy shit."  
  
Shannon: " I suggest we run."  
  
Lita: " Yeah."  
  
[Lita and Shannon take off away from the pit and back to the lockeroom while Triple H his pouring his water bottle on top of Stephanie's head, trying to put out her hair. Meanwhile in the back, Shannon and Lita are running like maniacs and coincidently Shannon just so happens to run into the Undertaker's motorcycle and he goes flying into a wall. Lita hears a crash and turns around to see what it was.]  
  
Lita: [while running] " SHANNON, YOU KNOCKED OVER THE UNDERTAKER'S MOTORCYCLE!"  
  
Shannon: [getting up] " I what?"  
  
Lita: [dragging Shannon] " You knocked over the Undertaker's motorcycle you moron!"  
  
[Lita is dragging Shannon down the hallway in a fatal attempt to escape any other mischief they might be able to get themselves into when a door opens and they hear.]  
  
Undertaker: " What happened to my bike?!"  
  
[Shannon and Lita both freeze for a hurried moment and then begin to run again. They are spotted by a VERY angry Undertaker as well as a livid Triple H as his promo in the ring in now finished.]  
  
Undertaker: " Come back here you two!"  
  
Triple H: [in front of Lita & Shannon] " What were you two morons doing down there?"  
  
Shannon: " Who says it was us?"  
  
Triple H: " The whole crowd says it was you!"  
  
Lita: [whispers] " Shannon, think where the first row seats are."  
  
Shannon: [stupefied] " Right.... uh... BYE!"  
  
[Shannon grabs Lita's hand and they start running the opposite way, only to encounter a very upset Undertaker. The Duo stops dead in their tracks.]  
  
Undertaker: " So it was you who knocked over my bike!"  
  
Shannon: [points to Lita] " Nope, it was her!"  
  
[Shannon turns to his right and takes off, leaving Lita to defend herself against the furious Undertaker. What he doesn't know is that Kane saw the whole thing and is running after him.]  
  
Lita: [stuttering] " It wasn't.... I....I... didn't.... YOU BELIEVE THAT IDIOT!"  
  
[Kane comes back carrying Shannon by the back of his shirt.]  
  
Shannon: [flailing around] " Lemme go, lemme go, LEMME GOOOOOO!"   
  
Kane: [menacingly] " Tell the truth or..."  
  
Shannon: " Okay okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I tripped over the bike and it fell over and I promise I'll fix it if it got dented!"  
  
[Kane & Undertaker leave. As they do Triple H and the charred 'Billion Dollar Princess' Stephanie McMahon-Helmsely show up.]  
  
Stephanie: " Look at what you did to my hair, you've ruined it!"  
  
[Shannon stupidly remarks.]  
  
Shannon: " It's actually a good look for you."  
  
Lita: " Yeah, big improvement."  
  
[Before Triple H can actually hit Shannon for his stupid remark, Matt, Jeff, Shane, and Evan show up.]  
  
Jeff: " What's going on here, what did you two do?"  
  
[Shannon is about to start his explanation when Matt interrupts him.]  
  
Matt: " Let Lita tell it."  
  
Lita: " Okay. Well first off, Shannon and I went down to the pyro pit and he dared me to push a button, at first I said no, then he called me chicken shit so I pushed the button to show him I'm not. It sets off Kurt Angle's pyros and catches Stephanie's hair on fire. And so we're running and running, and running, and running, and running..."  
  
Shane: " Get to the point!"  
  
Lita: " Right, we're running and Shannon trips over the Undertaker's bike..."  
  
Jeff: " You tripped over the Undertaker's bike?"  
  
Lita: " Shannon did, and it fell over..."  
  
Evan: " Okay, okay, we get the rest."  
  
Triple H: " And that brings us to present time where I'm about to hit him!"  
  
Matt: " Go ahead hit him, we don't care, he deserves it."  
  
Shannon: " MATT!"  
  
[Triple H promptly hits Shannon in the jaw, knocking him out. Stephanie, who is angry at Lita for adding to Shannon's stupid remark, slaps Lita across the face. Lita gets angry and punches Stephanie in the face.]  
  
Shane: " There, now we're even."  
  
**After the Hardyz Match** (which they won!)  
  
Jeff: " Let's go, they don't need us here anymore."  
  
[And now an appearance by Team Rocket. (see chapter 2 for team rocket details) Accompanied by Kaientai. All is BADLY dubbed.]   
  
(A/N: Just imagine Godzilla... before 1998. okay? Okay!)  
  
Edge: [badly dubbed] " We cannot let you go!"  
  
Jeff: [also badly dubbed] " Why... Not?"  
  
Christian: [you get it right?] " Because you are reekazoids!"  
  
Funaki: " Indeed!"  
  
Shannon: " We fight now!?"  
  
Edge: " Yes."  
  
[The wrestlers take fighting stances. Except Lita cuz she's not being dubbed, she's still in America and she Kewl.]  
  
Lita: [to herself] " Why do I feel like I'm in a bad Japanese B movie?"  
  
[The fight 'rages' on, with fake punches and kicks being thrown everywhere, with added sound effects where needed. Then a mysterious explosion blows Kaientai and Team Rocket out of the ceiling and into the sky.]  
  
E&C: [in mid-air] " Edge and Christian blasting off again.... 5 second pose!"  
  
[E&C stop in mid-air, do the pose and continue sailing away.]  
  
Edge: " We will be back..."  
  
Christian: " Because we are..."   
  
TAKA: " EEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLL!"  
  
Funaki: " INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!"  
  
[Back on the ground.]  
  
Jeff: " We have defeated you... again!"  
  
Everyone but Lita: " HA HAHA HAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Lita: " Will you guys knock it off." [to herself] " That's it, I'm getting a new contract."  
  
[Back at home AND IN AMERICA!]  
  
Evan: " Ah, it's great to be home."  
  
Jeff: " And to enjoy the rest of our vacation."  
  
Shannon: " Let's go somewhere!"  
  
Everyone, even Lita: " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
THE END.....INDEED!  
  
  
A/N: Thank you for reading the Trilogy of Insanity. It's only a trilogy there's only three no more, don't expect any! Hmmm.......... unless..............  
  
  
  
  



End file.
